Tuesday, April 19, 2005

More hodgepodge

Today is the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing. The had a thing on NPR about it but I've come to dislike the morning announcer on KBIA so I turned it off. I thought about it as I was getting ready for work and came to realize it was yet another ignored indicator that the so-called war on terror didn't really start in 2001. That wasn't even the first incident of domestic terrorism. I wonder if we're really "American, land of the ostrich" with our heads stuck in the ground. I know we posses an incredible faculty for self denial but to have it blatantly confirmed is disconcerting.

Tricia talked with me last weekend and she told me she'd like Matt to stay here for a year. I didn't agree outright but said rather that we should see how it goes over the summer and then reevaluate things.

I think I realized a little what bothers me about the situation. It's not that, were I in a relationship, I would be against having children. Hell I love my neices and nephews (and yes I have taken care of them for a week and a half so the ability to "give them back" doesn't necessarily factor in greatly) but it's the lack of choice. Perhaps I am a bit of a control freak and not being able to influence the decision is what bothers me. The feeling of helplessness. If this is it then I should be able to process it and get past it to make the best of things without getting even more bitter in my old age! ;-P


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