Monday, December 19, 2005

A sandwich

Or more precisely, the "Bacon Sandwich of Regret".

I'm not more than six pages into a Terry Pratchett novel ("Going Postal") when I encounter that phrase. Now keep in mind that I've never read any Pratchett (the "Discworld" stuff) before so I don't know his work.

But what do you suppose would be on the bacon sandwich of regret. Besides regret of course. Generally speaking, bacon is pretty thin. Even the thick cut stuff. So if you don't want the bread (presuming it's not going to be my kind of sandwich, which often uses other breadlike substitutes - like pitas or tortillas or such) to overwhelm the bacon. To be so much thicker than the bacon as to constitute more than fifty percent of the sandwich (proper sandwich construction is all about proportions you know). So unless you've got yourself some really thin bread you're going to have to add some other stuff to thicken out your bacon.

So what do you put on your bacon sandwich of regret (besides regret of course)? Now me being me, I'd opt for some cheese (of course). But what kind of cheese goes well with bacon? Thinking about it you could do a lot of things but I think I'd want a cheese with some starch in it (so to speak), meaning (of course) a strong flavor. The cheese I'm favoring lately (for strong flavor) is an extra sharp vermont cheddar (the white kind, Matt eats up all my cheddar before I can get any if I get the yellow kind).

What else? Well if you don't mind your bacon sandwich of regret becoming a BLT of regret you can add in some tomato and/or some lettuce, but those were never my favorites. So what else can we add into our bacon sandwich of regret (besides regret of course)? Mustard! of course. A good strong German mustard that's tangy to bounce off your sharp cheddar and rebound onto the bacon, safely esconced in the haven of your bread. Wait, that's not the mustard, try this one! (it's not German but we'll get there eventually)

So we have the bacon, some nice cheese, some strong mustard, but what about the bread? I'm a fan of rye but I think all these strong flavors might need a pumpernickle (is that spelled right?) Yup! (hmm, pumpernickle use rye flour and the word means "demon fart", whoa!)

So, this version of the "Bacon Sandwich of Regret" is thick cut bacon (fried all nice and crunchy), extra sharp cheddar cheese, German mustard on pumpernickle bread.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't imagine regret being associated with a bacon sandwich...period. Except that when it's gone you might still want more.

We watched Planet of the Apes yesterday and the phrase "melted monkey ass" leapt to mind during the finale..Thanks for that. :)


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