This conversation may be illegally monitored by the NSA

I've begun putting that at the bottom of all my emails. A piece on NPR shows that it may not be as simple a topic as I presumed.

I guess it is difficult to get a warrant to continue surviellance when you don't know the name of the person you're trying to surviel.

Well that explains things

Sitting in the Op Center today. One of the people here is reading some liberal (I presume) website which reports that Karl Rove's grandfather was a Nazi who built a concentration camp.

So it seems Nature is winning in the big debate here ... ;-P

D'oh

Don't you hate it when you start a story and then get so caught up in the details you forget what you're original point was? Well okay, that probably only happens to me (maybe a few others).

Anyway I've been getting a lot of new account requests for the ASGR Forums lately. There was a spate of them awhile ago when one of the Blue Planet fans started a forum based game and there have been a few since as people wander by to watch the game as it were. Two weeks ago I started getting requests named

online poker
texas holdem
empire poker
texas holdem poker

Now I could see these names if there was a poker section and people talked about playing but no thanks. These have to be spammers. I had one account quite awhile ago I inadvertently approved and they spammed *every* section of the boards. It took me about two hours to clean up afterwards. So I filed these requests away and have been getting some more questionable ones;

cheap celebrex
free online poker

But this morning I got about five or six with names less controversial (or at least less obvious);

Rebecca52
bell10
engine76
bone87
spoon58
casino cruise line sterli

Well okay the last one is pretty obvious. But the others maybe not. However they all have 2 digit numbers in them, that sounds like a script someone wrote. But I've been watching for spam and haven't seen any. Hmm, I wonder if it's bots harvesting email addresses.

I think I'll go turn all of these off.

...

Well it turns out they were probably all poker sites (thus spam) since the website listed in each of them was the same and it was some sort of casino or poker site (at least those words were in the site URL). Plus all of these that I didn't approve actually had filled out the form to get an account so I went back through and deleted anything that looked suspicious (and when I examined them before deleting they all had gambling sites as their home site).

So it's a new form of spam. Great!

Spammers

Okay, now spammers have progressed to phone spamming. I co-signed for my sister-in-law's educational loan so they call me periodically when they feel like it. I got two calls this morning from an automated system telling me they had "important information for me" and then they proceeded to put me on hold. The last time, after a few moments on hold a voice came on telling me all their technicans were busy asking me to hold again. NOT!! (you freakazoids called me!) I turned the volume down on my phone so if anyone is trying to call my cube I'm sorry if I don't answer.

I was talking with Brain and he was telling me that periodically he gets calls looking for someone and when he tells them there is no one there by that name they try "maybe you can help me ...". NOT!!

When I get telemarketing calls at home I pretty much listen long enough to determine if it's something I should listen to. You know, from a credit card company or the bank. Thinking maybe I misplaced last month's bill or forgot to pay it and I need to fix things pronto. When it's not someone (or some organization) that I know I tell them I'm not interested as the receiver is on the way to the hook. Pretty rude I know but they're imposing on me so they started the rude.

And it's annoying as heck when it is someone I have a relationship with (credit card company usually) and turns out to be spam anyway. Wanting to loan me more money (as if I don't have enough debt with the house NOW!). It's enough to have caused me (combined with a few other traits they have) to cancel any card I hve from Chase bank. I should start shopping around for a new auto loan and pay off that from them too!

Pardon me, I need to go cancel the last card.

Language is great

Not only does it let you communicate ideas but at the same time it often mystifies and prevents communication.

Well the prevention isn't quite so good sometimes, especially when you are trying to get information across, instructions, ideas, questions, that sort of thing. But sometimes it gives you great things to think about.

For example, I'm reading more Pratchett and he uses a phrase that I like,

"... a whole womanful of anger ..."

While describing one of the characters. I think, of course, of Yvonne, a red-headed friend who does, indeed, embrace her anger (that being a given with redheads often). The new catchphrase on her blog is "A cactus, attractive at a distance but hard to get close to" (describing strong women).

I'm going to have to read more Pratchett when I'm done with this one.

I got two more books I'd ordered week before last. Somewhere I got book 2 in a series, likely because I didn't respond to my SciFi book club notice until too late. It was called "The Deadhouse Gates" by Steven Erikson. I looked on Amazon.com to see if the 1st was available and it was but I couldn't decide if I was going to like the series. Some of the reviews enjoyed it and some said it was tripe. Not that I can trust what random internet people think (when they do think, which is more often than many drivers). So I ordered the 1st and 3rd used. Shipping was as much as the books. They came today. And I was disconcerted to see a recommendation from Stephen R. Donaldson on the cover of the 1st.

This is a man I despise. I read his ... I can't even think of the name of the hero in the series, Thomas Covenant? Yes, that's him. I read his Thomas Covenant series. Six books. The first one was okay but they rapidly declined from there and mostly it was the same story rehashed again and again and again (which is great for authors I like, not having to write another actual book and yet getting paid for one, marvelous!). And the hero is a puke, a mean nasty "person" I didn't empathize with at all. I have no idea why I stuck with the whole thing and read all six, other than to say I finished them. I didn't realize I shouldn't have until I was talking with Jack awhile back about the new set of Dune books, written by Herbert's son and Kevin Anderson (another "author" whom I despise, "hack" seems to good a word, he's not even that good a writer). They were poorly written (Brian Herbert is NOT his father by any means) and Jack asked me why I was reading them then. He pointed out that we only have so much time available to us and we shouldn't spend it reading drek.

So I don't know if I'll like this Erikson's books but I'll "give it a go".

The ultimate breakfast

Well the ultimate quick breakfast. Today I took Andy's Op Center shift since he's in Africa climbing Kilamajaro. So I'm here all day today. I had to drop Matt off at Yvonne's for the day (he did well there yesterday and didn't want to sit home alone all during his break) so I stopped by Sonic to pick up breakfast (I'm out of bagels at home).

But the SuperSONIC Breakfast Burrito is great. Not only will it fill the hunger beast but with the jalepenos and onions it will get you prepared for the customers. And by that I mean to say that no one will prolong their visit! bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

On the regret

I've been admonished that in order to have a "Bacon Sandwich of Regret", said sandwich would have to be 1 week old and have, perferably, spent 3 days of which in a warm moist place.

Which leads to the question as to the nature of the Regret.

Is it sandwich based Regret? Do you really want a Turkey Sandwich of Regret? Or Ham? Or maybe a Bacon Double Cheeseburger of Regret (I can see a lot of Regret there!)? Or is the sandwich based Regret over the sandwich aspect rather than the contents of it? Perhaps you wanted a Bowl of Chili of Regret? Or Chicken Soup of Regret (that certainly sounds counter intuitive!)?

Or is the Regret personal based? Something in the recent past, something you bought that you now think you shouldn't have? A sale you missed buying something at? Something you did (or didn't) do that you think you should (or shouldn't) have? Some*one* you did (or didn't) ... well, that.

Or is it further back than the recent past? Some childhood thing you wish you'd done? Or something you miss? Perhaps family or holiday things, given this time of year.

Or is the Regret merely a metaphor for something more internal or more abstract? Life's missed opportunities? Or the ultimate futility of sandwiches and life as a whole since you'll just end up wormfood.

The Worm Food of Regret? Whoa!

A sandwich

Or more precisely, the "Bacon Sandwich of Regret".

I'm not more than six pages into a Terry Pratchett novel ("Going Postal") when I encounter that phrase. Now keep in mind that I've never read any Pratchett (the "Discworld" stuff) before so I don't know his work.

But what do you suppose would be on the bacon sandwich of regret. Besides regret of course. Generally speaking, bacon is pretty thin. Even the thick cut stuff. So if you don't want the bread (presuming it's not going to be my kind of sandwich, which often uses other breadlike substitutes - like pitas or tortillas or such) to overwhelm the bacon. To be so much thicker than the bacon as to constitute more than fifty percent of the sandwich (proper sandwich construction is all about proportions you know). So unless you've got yourself some really thin bread you're going to have to add some other stuff to thicken out your bacon.

So what do you put on your bacon sandwich of regret (besides regret of course)? Now me being me, I'd opt for some cheese (of course). But what kind of cheese goes well with bacon? Thinking about it you could do a lot of things but I think I'd want a cheese with some starch in it (so to speak), meaning (of course) a strong flavor. The cheese I'm favoring lately (for strong flavor) is an extra sharp vermont cheddar (the white kind, Matt eats up all my cheddar before I can get any if I get the yellow kind).

What else? Well if you don't mind your bacon sandwich of regret becoming a BLT of regret you can add in some tomato and/or some lettuce, but those were never my favorites. So what else can we add into our bacon sandwich of regret (besides regret of course)? Mustard! of course. A good strong German mustard that's tangy to bounce off your sharp cheddar and rebound onto the bacon, safely esconced in the haven of your bread. Wait, that's not the mustard, try this one! (it's not German but we'll get there eventually)

So we have the bacon, some nice cheese, some strong mustard, but what about the bread? I'm a fan of rye but I think all these strong flavors might need a pumpernickle (is that spelled right?) Yup! (hmm, pumpernickle use rye flour and the word means "demon fart", whoa!)

So, this version of the "Bacon Sandwich of Regret" is thick cut bacon (fried all nice and crunchy), extra sharp cheddar cheese, German mustard on pumpernickle bread.

"Hello?"

Such a blaise way to answer your phone. Back in my Army days we were told we had to say the following things in our phone greeting;

1. Unit ("317th Engineer Battalion")
2. Section ("S-2")
3. Name and Rank ("Captain Heivilin")
4. Warn that this phone line wasn't secure ("this line is unsecure")

Now I've been told by the fastest talking people in the world, air traffic controllers, that I talk to fast. I never timed myself spitting out this whole mouthful of information but I always worked on getting it out as quick as I could so as not to be understood.

Lately I just answer my desk phone with our group ("CSG") and my name ("This is Jim").

But I think now I'm going to have to add a new warning.

"This conversation may be illegally monitored by the NSA."

Just so people know. Not to imply that anything anyone says to me is going to be subversive or terror related, but let's just be safe, eh?

The human condition

Which is more indicative or ironic a statement of the human condition than this?

There are some people who are so paranoid or hypochondriac that they're stockpiling an hypothetical experimental vaccine for a non-existant (human) disease. To compound this there are other people who are making up fake vaccines to sell to these people.

In one situation we see both extremes, I think, of people. Some so incredibly fearful that they grasp at any straw offered.

Bird flu hasn't mutated to infect humans yet (at least to be spread from human to human) - this is the non-existant disease. Tamaflu(sp?) is the experimental vaccine which drug manufacturers are *thinking* might work against it if it does mutate, however they have no proof one way or the other since it hasn't changed yet, it could well be that standing on one leg flapping your arms works better.

And lately there are people on the other extreeme, so jaded that they want to make a buck of anything, who have created fake vaccines of Tamaflu to sell to these paranoid hypochondriacs.

Whoa!

Everway

City of the Thousand Spheres.

It sounded a lot like "Tanalorn" from Micheal Moorcocks books. A great central city which knows of the thousand spheres where the spherewalkers meet.

Last night we started the Everway game that Jack is going to run while Sharon & John are out of town for the holidays. So far it's wicked cool. Andy and Brand have cool character concepts and I'm working on mine. Next week Melissa will join us and Andy is going to talk to Kerry and see if she wants to play.

Jack didn't start the adventure he had planned because it took awhile to generate characters (and with this group it will always) and he wanted to revamp it so that he could tailor it to our characters. Cool.

This is going to be a blast!

A List of My Own

I started my own list of "Good Names For A Rock Band" since it didn't look like Dave or Judi were updating that one.

http://www.missouri.edu/~heivilinj/rock-band.html

Melted Monkey Ass

What a great phrase. Not quite one of the "Good Name For A Rock Band" but still pretty good.

Cheese food revisted

Oh, and a thank you to an anonymous comment poster who gave me a link defining what "cheese food" and "prosessed cheese" is.

What's that stuff?

Define "funny"

Last night I watched "The Office". Their ads proclaim it a "hit new comedy". I saw about 10 minutes of it awhile back and it struck me pretty much the same way "Survivor" and it's 2nd clone did, bland lame (in fact they may define "bland lame") attempts at something (even they're not sure what they're trying to do). This time I saw it all the way through and it struck me the same way "Beavis and Butthead" did. I watched two episodes of that a few years ago and laughed (hard) once. The rest of it was stupid crap.

And while this wasn't stupid crap, I wasn't impressed at all (it was more "pointless crap"). The technique where the characters are talking to the camera ala reality show contestants was funny in spots but as a means to "hear" what the characters are thinking I really don't like it because it reminds me of reality shows I think are idiotic/stupid. I'm even less impressed with Steve Carell as a comedy centerpeice than I was with Will Farrell (I don't much like him and if I see he's in something that's a mark against - however I've never really seen him in anything, the promos with him usually turn me off). At least when I finally saw Adam Sandler I thought he was talented (and moderately funny), if his promos usually turned me off his work too. He may very well be talented but because his character is so freaking annoying I can't even love to hate him. He's just stupid.

There were a few parts which were pretty damn funny but overall many of the characters are mean and petty and why should I watch that? Don't most of us (I know I do) have enough mean petty people they are forced by life to deal with? Why would we want to watch them on TV? During the little bit of time we try to escape our lives. I know if I worked for that moron I'd be seriously considering a "tragic accident in the parking lot". I read Dilbert daily, I don't need to watch the PHB (pointy haired boss) on TV too!

And there are better techniques, I think, to show us what the characters are thinking. I've seen a few episodes of "The War at Home" and while I don't think it's very good (it's moderately funny but the parents are self-centered idiots and the kids are mostly little thugs), the technique of the actor standing in a white room explaining why or what they're thinking works moderately well. In fact most of the funny of that show comes from that technique.

But I was thinking this morning what "funny" was and how hard it would be for any of us to define it. We know it when we come across it, but doing it on purpose is hard. I know I'm funny some of the time and I realize now that I'm older that how much time I really am funny is a lot less than the time I *think* I'm funny and part of the trick of funny is to keep your mouth shut until you *are* funny. Timing I guess. In comedy, timing is everything. And a quick mind gets you to good timing quicker than most anything else. I see Matt trying to define himself and one of the things he's trying to use is comedy. A funny joke five minutes late is almost never funny.

So perhaps "Funny" is like the bestest, fastest melting desert treat in the world. When it comes out on time it's fabulous, nearly nothing is better. When it's a few minutes late it's painful.

What cheese eats?

My friend Karen came up yesterday, as she does every year, so we had lunch celebrating birthdays (her's was Saturday) and then went to the mall. She's a professional shopper (well actually she's an accountant for the Government but she should have been a professional shopper) and since we had justed fueled her up and Red Lobster she poinged around the mall for awhile.

It had been quite awhile since I went there so I went over to EB Games to see what they had, knowing pretty well what new games had just come or were due out. Quite a few Star Wars ones but that's a fossilized horse for me (so long dead ...) so I wasn't interested in any of them at all. I'd just gotten the "Incredibles" Xbox game not long ago and had gotten "Darkwatch" not long after it came out, so I didn't really need any Xbox games and was perfectly happy with CoH, CoV, WoW and now Half Life 2 for my PC. So it was mostly just browsing.

But there was an island booth with Hickory Farms stuff that I poked around while waiting. I noticed that a good deal of the "cheese" they had on sale wasn't refridgerated. Some of it wasn't even vacuum sealed, I could see the food slide around inside the plastic. And what wasn't like that was labelled "pasturized processed cheese food".

Is that what cheese eats to get big and strong?